Category Archives: Heart

Doing What We Love

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Starving Artist – we all know the old phase and what it implies.  If you do what you love, the best you can hope for is unending struggle.  And what about – Do what you love and the money will follow.  We all know that is wishful thinking!
We also know that a few people can do what they love because we see them – but not us.  They are the lucky, the talented, the athletic, the connected and we might as well not even try because we have none of those precious gifts.
The only thing that seems open to us is it to do what we love as a hobby.  That is what sane people do – work full time doing something else and do what we love in our free time on nights and weekends.  We have to be practical!  Our hobby might eventually grow into a business but don’t jinx it by thinking about that!
If for some crazy reason you try to do what you love full time, you  might be able to get away with it for a while, but you will ultimately fail.  The timing won’t be right, the market won’t be ready, you’ll be too early, too late, in the wrong place…   And to think you saved money for years to have this short but exhilarating experience!
The ‘gig economy’ is also a possibility.  I just read that 46% of American participate.  We can all have 3 part time jobs, drive for Uber and rent our homes on Airbnb.  We won’t be doing what we love but at least we will have some freedom and not be doing what we hate!
The best we can hope for is to do what we love as a ‘side hustle’.  We keep our full time job and make some extra money offering our best and most precious gift to the world – our baking, our painting, our sewing, our photography, our graphic design, our web design, our farming, our storytelling – all of the things that make the world unique and beautiful – on the side.
We are all familiar with these scenarios.  They are conventional wisdom (that I would call cultural wisdom).  We’ve all heard each of them and many of us have lived each of them!   Now let’s look at them from a broader perspective.  When we step back and look at all of them together, we see an arc – a slowly ascending spiral of possibility.  Each scenario – while bleak if doing what you love is a burning passion in your heart as it is in mine – each is a whole evolution better than the one before.  And look at what comes next!!!  The next turn of the spiral is to do what we love as our real life, full time gig!  Could it be true?
Could doing what we love be coming into the world as the next evolution of cultural wisdom?  Who is the culture after all?  We are!  The deep desires and fears of humanity rise up as our culture.  And our culture has been deeply dissatisfied for a while now.  Some parts of our collective nature are hard to look at in this moment, but it is only by bringing them into daylight where we can see them that we can address them.  While the events in the world right now are painful to see, it is only by seeing them that we can participate in creating a new culture, a new consciousness in the world.
So what does doing what we love and creating a new consciousness in the world have in common?  Satisfied people create a satisfied world.  Balanced people create a balanced world.  Loving people create a loving world.  Creating a loving world seems like a tall order right now.  So how do we even begin?  We begin by – each one of us – creating a life that we love.  We begin by living a life that offers our deepest gifts to the world.  It is by loving ourselves enough to honor and offer our truest selves to the world all day, every day that we create a loving world.
The world is clearly ready, people are clearly longing to feel a new sense of inclusion.  No one can stand to be dissatisfied in their life anymore – not offering their most unique and joyful gifts.  No one can stand to feel marginalized anymore – not given the opportunity to contribute or not honored for their contribution.  And I am not talking about the third world or some minority/majority of Americans, I am talking about you and me.  We have all been marginalized by not being called upon to offer our greatest gifts to the world.  It is our culture that has marginalized us.  It is we who have marginalized ourselves.  It was all we knew to do at the time.  It was how we thought the system worked.  And now we’ve created this huge upswelling of discontent to give us the opportunity to see a new way.
People want to be deeply honored and fully accepted for who they are.  This creates a culture of social justice which brings environmental sustainability and economic prosperity.  Feel for the truth in this – connection and loving acceptance is the entry point that starts the  domino effect of environmental sustainability and economic prosperity. And not the old economic prosperity, the new living economy made up of people like you and me sharing our most unique and precious gifts with the world – global right-livelihood.  A world of satisfied and loving people creates a satisfied and loving world.
And loving acceptance starts with ourselves.  It starts with us fully accepting who we are and what we love to do as our greatest gifts to the world.  Lead with these things, these deep truths about ourselves and our unique offering, and we align with love in the world. Our offer is complete before it even leaves our lips because our heart is full of the joy of giving and the joy of being heard and seen as our true selves.  We are fulfilled.
You worry there is no market for a full time juggler?  I know a full time juggler!  There is a new version of supply and demand in the world based on our unique self expression. When we are aligned with our heart, we will be supported by humanity.  Humanity is the new economy.  Personal fulfillment creates cultural fulfillment creates global fulfillment.  And it all starts with doing what we love.

Catch the Moment as Sacred

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Every expectation I have right now is being thwarted!  I know that in life, we don’t always get what we want.  We do sometimes, but it is also common to be thwarted. Right now, it seems I am being thwarted everywhere, every time!  What is going on???  Luck predicts 50/50!

When I can’t take a step in any direction, the only option is to be fully still and present in the moment and see what shows up.  It takes a completely different view of reality and the process and purpose of life to be still. Our culture says that life is based on cause and effect.  We have to act to cause something in order to receive something.  We are told that if we just stop, life stops.  So what will I see from stopping?

My deep belief is that each moment is sacred.   I see that I am being asked to live from this truth.   I see that in order to do this, I have to stand apart from cultural reality so I have a greater perspective.  The greater perspective is not so I can understand what is happening better.  When we really look, we see that it is impossible to understand what is happening to us and why.  The scope of life is too vast.  My greater perspective is a deep knowing that there is SOMETHING happening even though I don’t know what it is.  I stop and catch the moment as sacred.  

It’s like being an emcee at a talent show.  I have no idea what the person on stage in front of me is going to do.  I know it is very important to them and also that it may not turn out well. So I have to be incredibly kind and loving in the face of what feels like chaos.  Chaos is lack of reason or predictability or sense.  The ego feels very unsafe and wrong in chaos.  I have to give up everything of my personal self to hold this sacred moment of life.

So what do I feel?  My soul LOVES this and my ego hates it!  My soul feels the rightness and my smaller self feels the wrongness.  How do these two sides of me come together into an experience I can offer consistently, gently, joyfully?

I see that giving up my belief in traditional cause and effect is necessary.  I know that when I stand still, make myself available to the moment and let life come through me rather than trying to cause it, something magical happens.  I become part of a bigger circle than just my own life.

We can give up having to be the cause of everything in our lives and allow what wants to happen to come through us as effect, effect, effect.  The cause is happening somewhere, but it is not nearby.  At first this is disorienting.  But when we allow ourselves to be part of this larger system, beyond what we know, magic happens.  It is not really magic – there are rules that govern the workings of the Whole – we just don’t know what the rules are and so it feels like magic – and delight.

It takes something to give up causing and to trust that the system, the Source, knows and cares. It takes something to trust that the Divine is causing a world to emerge that is beautiful and sustainable for every being on the planet – a web more brilliant than anything we can imagine.  We are each invited to participate in the creation of this world.  If we can give up, trust and be available, what a privilege to be a partner in birthing this shining new world!

We Belong

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Why do we feel so powerless to have the life we want?  We want to be powerful.  We try to be powerful, but something stops us.  Where we are today is separate from our power because our true power lies in our connection with our true self, each other and with all of life, and we don’t really see ourselves as part of the fabric of humanity or the natural world – we see ourselves as separate from it.

True power comes from being connected with the whole.  This is about the power, the energy, the delight that allows us to be and do what is ours in the world.   The world’s harmony will increase as each of us fully expresses our true self.  What we can do, step by step, is to stitch ourselves back into the fabric of the universe.  This reconnection, this reunion is what connects us with the deep joy and freedom of our true selves.  And it brings harmony and peace to the world.

What sews me into the fabric of the universe is that I Belong to Beauty.  When I say it, it fills my body with a profound emotion that is a mixture of joy and love and gratitude.  I’ve discovered that I Belong to Beauty are the words in the English language that are most meaningful to me.  For some people, it might be belonging to Harmony, Peace, Love or any of a thousand other things.

When we say I Belong to, it unites us with the whole.  The source of everything in the universe is Belonging.  Everything else trickles out of that.  We are happy when we know we belong, we are healthy when we know we belong, we are rich in every way when we know we belong.  We know what to do in every moment because we belong.   Trust fills us.  Gratitude springs forth.  We are free.  Everything that is meaningful is implicit in We Belong.

The Wild

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I set out on my vision quest on March 1, 2014.  I had been on some adventures in my time.  I thought I could handle it.  I even thought I would be good at it.  Heck, I had slept outside on the lawn furniture one night to see the moon cross the sky!  I knew there was more to life than what everyone had settled for.  I couldn’t stay in civilization as it was.  I went in search of a new life in the unknown.
Not much time passed before I was very lost.  There were many times I was the equivalent of thirsty, hungry, cold, wet and feverish.  I was always afraid.  I wandered.  I searched.  Some things from my old life I happily discarded and some things I loved were wrenched from my grip.  I lost my dignity and grew vulnerable.  Even though I was surrounded by family and friends, I felt alone.
A long time passed.  After I had lost or given up everything, something finally shifted.  I started to feel differently, better, stronger.  I started to feel competent, even confident – living in the Wild.  It was no longer terrifying to not know where my next meal was coming from.  I no longer felt like I was wandering and lost.  It was more like I was guided by inner wisdom coming from some part of me that had been asleep.   I went from looking at the unknown with fear to loving its aliveness.  Even though it was unpredictable, I learned there were things I could count on – beauty, surprise, delight.  I could trust the Wild.
I live here now.  While I was lost, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to relate to people after what I’d been though.  It turns out that I am more available now than I ever was.  My journey has taken me away from civilization and directly to the heart of humanity.  Civilization hasn’t changed but I have.  Everyone is a friend.  Letting go of control allowed me to find connection everywhere.  Life springs out of the moment.  Opportunities are all around us all the time.  The Wild is home.

Navigating Our Calling

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Many people’s dearest wish is to have a calling – something that they are meant to bring to the world that gives their own lives deep fulfillment and offers something meaningful and important to others. When asked what their calling might be, they talk about sharing laughter and deep conversations, offering healing and light, and transforming lives using gentleness and care. Some want to share their calling in the world as a career and others want to share themselves with their family and friends. These people seem to know what would bring them profound joy and offer a unique contribution to the world. So what stops them? Fear of being overwhelmed.

If we were to truly give ourselves to something, whether it is a commitment to kindness or ending world hunger, our fear is that our lives would never be the same. Our days would be filled with to-do lists, our nights with worry, and our conversations would become boring as we repeat the same thing over and over.

These fears paralyze us. We experience numbness or gnawing dissatisfaction, or sometimes deep emptiness. We know we are not in the right place for us and sometimes it doesn’t seem like there is a right place. We feel trapped between dissatisfaction and the unknown, and the dissatisfaction seems safer.

The reality is that our lives would never be the same if we made our personal commitment, but not in the ways we fear. Our days would be filled with peaceful contemplation and joyful action, our nights would be filled with delicious rest, and our conversations would forge deep connections and inspire others to live their own dreams. We would experience freedom.

Everyone has a calling, a unique perspective and gift meant to be shared, whether we are aware of it or not. Everyone’s hope is that their calling will arrive as powerfully as a lightning bolt because we think this will galvanize us into action, that if we knew beyond a doubt what was ours to do, we would be filled with the courage to do it. While this does happen, for most of us, our calling is whispering in our ear every day. It is up to us to hear it (sometimes with the help of those who know us best) and to take the step. Instead of being overwhelmed, we’ll find that there is nothing more freeing than experiencing and sharing our true selves.

Designing Our Frequency

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It feels like our circumstances and our choices come together to create our lives. At one time this was true – decades ago for most of us! At one time, our circumstances and our choices came together for long enough to create a groove in our nervous system. Our sympathetic and parasympathetic activity became settled in a pattern along with a balance of stress hormones and beneficial hormones.

Our bodies create habits as an efficiency measure to conserve the precious processing time of our higher thinking centers which use a lot of calories. One reason for this is that it is much more ‘energy efficient’ to run a low energy habit or pattern than a high energy new process. Anyone who turns off the water when they brush their teeth can identify with this.

The problem comes when we think we are making new choices but life keeps showing up in the same old way. The answer lies in the nervous system. It seems like we are making new choices but our nervous system is running in the same old groove. Our nervous system is a powerful force in our bodies and unless a serious jolt occurs or a new series of behaviors is reinforced over time, our nervous system will draw events to us that allow it to maintain its status quo.

Another way to say this is that we broadcast a unique frequency and similar frequencies (people and events) are attracted. This is easily seen by looking at busy people. Busy people are always busy. No matter what they try to do differently, life continues to show up in a way that maintains their feeling of being busy. The same is true of people with drama in their lives. Drama continues to show up to match the level of order in their nervous system and their hormonal balance.

For many of us, this is shocking news. We thought we were living our lives freely but it turns out we are on a track being taken where the track leads. And we didn’t choose the track! The good news is that though we can’t escape our body’s process, we can work with it. While patterns are powerful, they are also fragile. When we want to change our lives outwardly, we need to look inward first. We can reprogram our nervous system by repeatedly evoking the emotions we desire thereby creating a new frequency of our own design. Once in place, this frequency will lead us to the experiences we desire with little effort. By creating a frequency that includes the feelings of peace and gratitude, we will experience life through this viewpoint. My frequency is gratitude, fun and freedom! What’s yours?

The Walk Home

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Before I go to bed, I prepare a trail of breadcrumbs so when I wake up, I can find my way home if I feel lost. Sometimes my dreams take me far away to places where I feel angry and frustrated. When I wake up, those places cling to me. I finally figured out that those places don’t mean anything and I can just start walking home.

My breadcrumbs are my books with bookmarks at my favorite passages, quotes stuck on the mirror, a chair in my garden, foods that lift me up placed on the counter for breakfast. Each of these things provides a step on my journey home: ‘Not one atom opposes us’ and ‘Gratitude is the bridge between you and freedom’.

Each day I rebuild my world by believing one thought which leads to another. Then I believe that thought which leads to another. It is a trail of loving understanding that starts with compassion, moves toward beauty, then to gratitude and ends in delight. The key, I’ve found, is to take one step at a time.

On days when my world is already there for me, I rebuild the whole world. I start at the big bang and move right into seeing the earth as the incredible paradise that it is. Right now, my favorite time period is when the Hunter/Gatherers roamed the earth. One day as I was creating this, I realized that they were not Hunter/Gatherers at all. They were Finders. I was wondering how human-type beings could have survived for 30 centuries racing around looking for berries and roots and chasing after antelope. I realized that this viewpoint comes from our current model of having no idea how to live off the land. These people would have been so connected to the Earth that their experience must have been like living at the grocery store. Everywhere they looked, they saw nourishment.

So I’ve made a commitment to find my way home to my true self every day. Some days I wake up home. Some days it is a long walk. Some days I never make it. It is the practice that gives my life structure and meaning. As some time has gone by since I started this practice, I’ve proven to myself that I will find myself most days. I trust the process so I don’t beat myself up on the hard days.

I have always wanted to experience life as sacred. For a long time, I believed that when I got everything handled, some type of powerful understanding would show up in flash. It turns out that we have a choice in every moment about how we experience life. We get the opportunity, again and again, to choose the walk home.

Accepting What Is

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Hard things happen to all of us. Sometimes it feels like we can’t accept what happened and we try to push the memories away. We think that by ignoring those thoughts and feelings, we can be free of the pain, the anger, the injustice. We think that when some time goes by, the pain will diminish and it often does. Our experience of it diminishes because we gain some perspective or other experiences distract us. But is it really gone?

If you find yourself trying to push away the memories of difficult times in your life, there is another option. Instead of trying to push them away, pull them closer and hold them in your heart. Don’t try to shift them or change them, start with just holding them. Our hearts have a huge capacity to sit with pain. It sometimes feels like the pain is coming from our hearts but look closer. You may find that your heart is simply an open space, an open space that is incredibly strong and loving. It is capable of holding the most difficult and the most painful parts of our lives and being a steady source of comfort.

When we make the shift from pushing away pain to holding it in our hearts, something amazing happens in our lives. Instead of having the impression that we are surrounded by negativity that we need to protect ourselves from, the space around us clears. We have a new sense of lightness and openness. We may still have the pain but we are holding it in a way that works, in a way that allows us to continue living our lives and seeking out newness instead of being closed off.

In time, our hearts will offer up something for our pain. It might be release. It might be completion. It might be forgiveness. Our hearts are designed to digest experiences and break them down into manageable parts. In time, we can see something new or something old in a new way. We can learn to live with the past, whatever it may be. Our hearts don’t see good or bad, right or wrong. Our hearts fully accept what is.

 

Follow your heart

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We are each part of the whole but we are also unique. This is our gift – we bring something new into the world by our presence here.

If we become simply part of homogenized society, we fit in but our true nature does not get to express itself. This can make our life uncomfortable or even painful. Once we acknowledge that we all have different needs & gifts and begin to follow our true path, we are empowered. Acknowledging our own unique nature moves us toward fulfillment and joy. Others will feel our commitment and honesty. The world supports people who follow their heart.